Presenting the weirdest spam message ever:

Subject: We have hijacked your baby

From: “cornellis xinghao”
Date: Wed, August 27, 2008 5:06 am
To: daryl@daryllang.com

Hey We have hijacked your baby but you must pay once to us $50 000. The details we will send later…

We has attached photo of your fume

Attachment: photo.zip

Let’s break this down. First, I have no baby. Second, hijacked? Could “baby” refer to a vehicle, as in, “Let’s get this baby in the air!” or “Let’s go captain, we’re sailing this baby to Panama!”? Third, there’s that intriguing use of the word fume. Can you take a photo of something that is, by definition, a vapor?

Until I solve this riddle, guess what attachment I’m not opening?

Their grammar makes me wonder if they are tied to lolcats. Did you check Sterling’s whereabouts immediately?