To Whom it may concern:

        This letter is being sent to you because recently, you were sent a
chain letter, which you may or may not have passed on.
        This is an anti-chain letter. It originated at Portland State
University. Its purpose is to put a stop to all of the silliness of chain
letters and their complete lack of connection with luck, fortune, or
anything else. If you receive this anti-chain letter, keep it until you
receive a chain letter. Then instead of spreading the chain letter, send
this letter back to whoever sent that obnoxious piece of junk mail to you.
If you sent one recently, send this along to the same people.
        If we get lucky, maybe this will spread all over the world and
eventually get back to those goobs who have nothing better to do than write
meaningless letters that prey on people's superstitions. (How do they know
how many times a letter has been "around the world" anyway?)
        If you don't, your car will not break down; a close relative is not
going to die; and you won't lose all of your money. If you do, you probably
won't win a million dollars, receive a promotion, or suddenly find true
love. (We sincerely hope you do anyway.) However, you will feel much better
about ignoring chain letters in the future.

        Thank you.