Warning: The Badtimes virus...

If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes,"
delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most
dangerous Email virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive.
Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even
close to your computer. It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes
melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, mess up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will
give your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend your new phone number. It
will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your
Pepsi and leave its socks out on the coffee table when
there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in
the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car
keys when you are late for work.

Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will
give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar
in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while
dating your current boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back
and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card. It
will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is
dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond
the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves
your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on
your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and
subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also
a rather interesting shade of mauve.

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in
your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while
it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new
snowblower. These are just a few signs... be very careful!

THIS IS A JOKE for those of you who will wonder.