*******DANGER!  Do not open any message with the title GREAT TIMES

This virus is unique and can affect virtually all aspects of your life.
 If you activate this virus, it will add 3 gigabytes of space to your hard
drive.  It will make your modem run at blinding speeds.  It will defragment
your hard drive and double your processor speed.  It will filter out all
spam e-mail.  If you have a modem, it will call all of the major banking
institutions and transfer money into your checking account.  It will book
free week-long Caribbean cruises for two in your name.  

Your monitor will emit high levels of radiation making you irresistible to
the opposite sex.  If you activate this virus at work, it will add letters
of commendation to your employee file and put you in for huge raises and
promotions.  It will make you think more clearly and get you physically fit
without exercise.  It will make men ask for directions, put the toilet seat
down and admit it when they're wrong.  It will eliminate PMS in women and
make childbirth painless.       

The effects of this virus are clearly wide-ranging.  It is highly important
that you do not activate this virus UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!  If you do so,
you are taking the future of the human race in your hands!