MonkeysThe pet store was selling them for five cents a pieace. I thought thiswas odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not tolook a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I likemonkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one ofdrive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of themwere really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. Ilaughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing. I herdedthem into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their newenvironment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch athigh speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, thespectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hourslater I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they alldied. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kindalike when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damncheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeyslying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from mybookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush onedown the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead,wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys. I tried topretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for awhile,that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. Ihad to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want tocall a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down thedecomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough roomfor two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also hadto eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad. I tried to burnthem, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had toextinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, twodead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead,charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, The odor wasn't improving. Ibecame agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and Ireally had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of themonkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage mansaid the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I toldhim I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't botherasking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gavethem out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say.They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying.Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys. This isa chain letter.....now that you have read it, you will have been hexedwith bad luck in everything you do until you forward this to 10 peopleyou know. After 10 days, you will have permanant bad luck forever. Ifyou do forward this 10 people in ten days then you will have good luckin life for the next year.