17 Mar 2008 8:00 am   //   Filed under: Sterling

The kitchen is a place of wonderous things!

Note: This post is by guest writer Sterling the cat.

sterling3.jpgO hai! I want to tell you about a most extraordinary day I had yesterday!

It was an overcast, late-winter’s afternoon. Outside, the street was quiet, and inside, grey light filtered softly through the apartment curtains.

I was napping when I was awakened by footsteps on the stairs and the unlatching of the deadbolt. It was Daryl returning from the store with three plastic bags!

Three bags! And they smelt of fresh things! What did he have in those three plastic bags? He had foods of all sorts! So many shapes and textures!

But what, pray tell, is this one?!

It’s huge! It’s as tall as me! Its base is knobby and rough, and it flares at the top into an explosion of floppy spikes. It smells earthy and sweet, of soil and honey.

Can I push it? Can I tip it over? What sound will it make if it falls to the floor? I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED! This thing is making me CrAzY!

No, wait! Don’t take it away! Don’t cut it up! I have only begun investigate this amazing piece of food! What staggering miracles of life manifest themselves in the kitchen!

Do you not realize what this is?! My dear sir! It is a pineapple!