2 Mar 2009 9:00 am   //   Filed under: Hard times, Media

Plan B

Everybody who works in media is talking about what to do when there are no more media jobs. Here are some ideas:

  • Teach SAT prep courses. Apparently this pays handsomely and is in high demand. And finally, a chance to show off that we know words like unctuous and ossify.
  • Tend bar. Until recently, this was becoming a very hard job. Bars were starting to employ “mixologists,” who would have a short conversation with a customer and then recommend the perfect $12 cocktail. Well, that’s over! Now all you need to do is uncap $3 bottles of Miller High Life.
  • Health care. Because people keep getting sick. Except none of us are doctors or RNs. Um, can we help out with your web site? Clerical? Janitorial?
  • Count people for the 2010 Census. Then do whatever it is census-takers do nine years out of ten.
  • Open a pie shop. Unfortunately, the pie craze I keep predicting seems less likely now that ABC has canceled “Pushing Daisies.”
  • Dog breeder. People are always willing to spend money on pets. And dogs like doing it! Easy!
  • Be a repo man. Surely a busy industry these days.
  • Porn. We can edit it!