These are mostly harmless letters that offer a smile, and then a stern order to forward it to somebody else. Angel Divine ASCII art. Around the Corner This is a poem allegedly by Henson Towne (who?) and a guilt message telling you that you don't care about your relationships if you fail to send this message along. Attitude is Everything Francie K. Baltazar of Dallas, Texas writes: "'Chain Letter Attitude Is Everything' is mine and it WAS NEVER SUPPOSE TO BE A CHAIN LETTER! I am a professional speaker and it is what is called my signature story - It was originally published in Chicken Soup for the Soul at Work and then someone put it on the web. From there it turned into a chain. If I had a dollar for everyone who got that letter I would be a wealthy woman. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I don't mind you using the letter, BUT PLEASE - note that it was NEVER a chain letter and that some putz put it on the web as one." Being a Friend Does the world need another page of sappy, poorly-written drivel about being a friend? Read this one and decide. Children of the Eighties In an often-copied idea, this lists a series of retro 1980s icons and asks that you forward it on to other people who would remember the same stuff. This is basically a reworking of a famous student newspaper column called Call Me A Child of the Eighties. Condoms Yes, this is the one about all the different company slogans applied to condoms. Then it begins the standard chain letter bit about what will happen to you if you send it on or break the chain. Day in peace Wouldn't it be nice if everybody stopped shooting guns for a day? On the first day of the new millennium? Sending e-mail forwards is not a good start. Dead Monkeys This one is pretty gross, but it seems to still be making its rounds. La Declaración Del Amor Generic love chain letter in Spanish. Drinker's Alphabet Not as funny as it should have been. Dog gets sliced up As if we needed more threatening e-mail, here's one about a dog and a girl and nasty gore. Alert Reader Michelle informs me that this is almost identical to a story in Daniel Cohen's Southern Fried Rat and Other Gruesome Tales. Do you love Jesus? The shortest chain letter I've ever seen. Enchanted Banana of Happiness This same enchanting forward manifests itself in a variety of different fruits, but I've only included the banana. Friend gets sliced up This reads like a scary horror story, but it is actually a thinly veiled threat to you and your friends. Friends in college The college transition inspired this assesment of various kinds of friends. Find Waldo It's somehow second-rate compared to the books. Good Luck Totem Another bad ASCII graphic that claims to be true "even if you are not superstitious." How much do you know about yourself? If you need this letter to tell you, you don't know enough. How To Be Annoying Favorite suggestion: "Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know." Hug A sappy hug poem (not credited to Shel Silverstein as it should be) teams up with some cheesy ASCII art. Variation: The Hug Interactive Love Potion More scrolling. Kiss Another bad poem, and more ASCII art. This one invokes a chocolate motif. Leonardo Dicaprio Movie Contest Blessed by the Ancient Mayans (huh?) and frozen embryos of the fat boy's father (wha?). Love Story The chain letter portion claims to be from June 7, 1997, but the lubby-dubby poems could be much older. Moon This is surely the bottom of e-mail humor. Moonlight Ride Depending on your opinion, this poem either serves as a stern warning about drunk driving or a sappy way to desensitize a serious topic. It's a chain letter either way. Nutsac The scrotum of good luck. Personal inventory Fill in the blanks with descriptions of yourself and send it back to everyone. The evil thing about these letters is that once you get one, you're probably going to get a bunch more shortly after. Poopie List There are also variations of this that use a word funnier than 'poopie.' Pregnancy Poem I'm still not sure what the message here is supposed to be. Rose This is badly deteriorated ASCII art, which appears to be a bear with a sappy love poem next to it. It is mostly unintelligible except for the telltale line "JUST SENd it." Shooting Star This scrolling animation promises that your wish will come true -- if you pass the message along. Smile Virus Sort-of a variation of the virus hoax. Snowball This one comes in several varieties, but all try to capture the spirit of a global snowball fight played over the Internet. Variations: Parachuting Cow Frog Water Balloon Teddy bear ASCII art. Test Answer some questions and predict your future. Eh? Tiger ASCII guaranteed to bring you A's on your tests. (Side note: It looks an awful lot like a Nittany Lion to me.) Variation: Tortoise. Tigger The Tigger song, and a picture. Toothbrush Geez, what did you think it was? Tweety More ASCII art. With Sex All Things Are Possible This one is beyond description.